


milk pudding

by onhojongtaekey



Category: SHINee
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Protective Minho, baby jonghyun, kind of, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-11 01:02:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15303975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onhojongtaekey/pseuds/onhojongtaekey
Summary: you did a good job today, you worked so hard





	milk pudding

**Author's Note:**

> CW: mentions of jonghyun with depression (centric) and disordered eating habits (slight)  
> please do not read (or read at your own discretion) if you are sensitive to either of these content warnings. they are lightly mentioned but i don’t want to unintentionally upset anyone. the fic itself is very lighthearted and soft.

Clothes and empty water bottles were strewn about the floor of Jonghyun’s room. He looked down at the mess that lay in front of him before going back to scrolling through his phone, doing nothing in particular. Taking a quick glance at the date and time, he’d seen that, apparently, it was Saturday, five in the evening; which meant he had been here like this, since he’d woken up, for nine hours. Another day was about to pass him by and the energy needed to be concerned with such details was not one he possessed. It was just one of those days. The mere thought of getting up to go out and interact with everything around him was too much, eliciting a pounding headache that drove him to tears. As he lay in bed with single tears steadily and silently flowing, his boyfriend’s text tone sounded.

-

_Minho: spoons?_

_Jonghyun: 2/10_

_Minho: omw_

-

Jonghyun clicked his phone off upon receiving the last text, rolling over in bed so that he was facing the wall nearest to him. The tears that came from the headache had grown into muffled sobs from a different type of pain. Some days there wasn’t a clear reason. Other days the reason couldn’t be explained well enough. A lot of days there just wasn’t one, but the tears flowed as though Jonghyun carried the weight of the world behind his eyes and crying was the only way to lessen the load. He would be fine, he rationalized, as soon as he could get some rest. Just a little, a break from everything, and then a break from that break that didn’t include going _back_ to everything. Jonghyun heard the alarm to his house sound, signaling that someone had just walked in through the front door. Minho silenced it, putting his copy of the key in his pocket and making a beeline to Jjong’s room.

“Hey love,” Minho said tenderly, leaning towards Jonghyun to press a soft kiss to the older, but smaller man. “Come, you haven’t eaten. I picked up some milk pudding on the way, your favorite.”

Jonghyun turned his now heavy body over on his side to face Minho, tear stained face making his partner feel a pang of sadness in his chest. It wasn’t rare that Jonghyun got into this state, but Minho could never get familiar with this image, no matter how deeply it was etched into his skull.

“I’m tired Ming,” Jonghyun croaked out.

“I know baby, do you want to talk?” Minho replied, deep voice comforting as ever.

Jonghyun made his best attempt at grabby hands towards the boy, who easily complied and moved to snake his body around Jonghyun’s comfortably.

“I’m so tired,” Jonghyun repeated.

“Did you get any sleep love?”

“Not that kind of tired,” Jonghyun mumbled against Minho’s chest. “Well, yes that kind of tired, but I’m so… I’m just _exhausted_. I’m so…” he trailed off, tears returning and soaking through the thin fabric of Minho’s shirt.

“Shh shh I know, I know. You stayed here all day?” Minho asked him this, but it was less of a question and more of an ‘I know it, but I need to hear you say it’ kind of statement. Jonghyun nodded his head slightly and moved in closer to the younger.

“Come on baby, sit up, yeah? Let’s get moving around so your body doesn’t end up apart of the mattress.”

“Maybe I _want_ my body to be part of the mattress,” Jonghyun huffed out, complying regardless.

The pair walked out of Jonghyun’s room into the dining room where the bag containing milk pudding was placed. They sat down in the plush chairs facing each other, Minho reaching into the bag to empty it of its contents.

“Say ‘aaah,’” Minho spoke, opening the milk pudding and placing it in front of Jonghyun’s mouth.

“I’m not a baby,” Jonghyun protested.

“You’re _my_ baby.”

“I can feed myself.”

“And did you?” Minho questioned pointedly, spoon still in front of Jonghyun’s face.

Jonghyun shot him a less than intimidating glare, complete with eyebrows furrowed in faux-annoyance and tears dried on his cheeks, opening his mouth for Minho to feed him against his initial protest.

“Did you take your meds today?”

Jonghyun shook his head. “Too tired.”

“That’s what they’re for babe,” Minho offered cautiously.

“I don’t want to be dependent on medicine for everything Ming,” Jonghyun spoke around the goop in his mouth. “Everyone else gets to just wake up and go about their day, maybe take a Tylenol or an Aspirin or something and just live and unless I get the _exact_ right amount of sleep and take the _exact_ dosage at the _exact_ time my days just end up like this.”

“That’s not true,” Minho said, “you’ve had plenty of good days where you’ve missed your medicine, overslept, under-ate, or a combination of the three. They’ve been harder to manage, but they were still good.”

Jonghyun pouted, reluctant to admit the younger’s words were right sometimes.

“Something else is bothering you right now.”

“Something else always is,” the older spoke.

“Do you want to talk?” Minho repeated.

Jonghyun got up from his chair, half finished pudding forgotten as he took Minho’s hand lightly and led him to the couch to lie down.

“I’m tired Ming,” he groaned out again.

“Established, go on.”

“I just. I don’t even know what’s wrong anymore,” Jonghyun began tentatively. “I wake up and I’m like, ‘what’s my purpose, what was _I_ put here to do’ and I just? I don’t know. Today was... it wasn’t a bad day but it was very low energy and it came out of nowhere and I wish I had answers but I don’t even know what’s being asked and I feel like a stranger in my own body and I _hate_ this Ming. I hate it so much.”

Tears didn’t make their way to Jonghyun’s eyes as he continued talking, but the strain in his voice made it evident they were bound to start flowing sooner or later.

“I am really, really tired,” he finished.

The best thing, Minho thought, was to bring Jonghyun to his bed again so that they could talk and rest in a more comfortable setting. He got up from behind the older boy in front of him, leaving Jonghyun whining with what energy he had before Minho carried him from the couch bridal style to his room.

“You’re losing weight, Jjong,” Minho spoke tenderly. With the thoughts roaming through Jonghyun’s head, Minho wasn’t sure if Jonghyun fully heard him. If he did, he didn’t acknowledge him.

Making his way into Jonghyun’s room, Minho placed the small frame in his arms onto the mattress in the position he saw him in first, climbing on top and resting his weight upon him.

“Get offffuh,” Jonghyun drew out, “seriously Minho, you’re crushing me.”

“Too bad,” Minho sighed. Still, he looped his arms around Jonghyun’s waist and switched their positions so that Jonghyun was on top.

“Why do you do this?” Jonghyun asked vaguely.

“Do what?”

“Why do you stick around when there’s nothing in me worth staying for… why do you make yourself suffer just because I am.”

Minho brought one hand up to cradle the older’s head, bringing him in to his chest. He carded his fingers through his hair softly before he spoke.

“First of all, I’m not suffering being with you. I care about you so, so deeply and nothing is ever going to change that. And secondly,” Minho stated, staring up at the ceiling decorated with stars, “I know I could tell you this a thousand times and it wouldn’t matter until you believed it for yourself, but you’re so much more than the tiny pills you need to take. Everyone has something they need to do to maintain some normalcy in their lives. For me, it’s seeing you,” he chuckled, and felt relief upon feeling Jonghyun do the same against his chest. “For you, it’s two pills once a day, and that’s fine. Nothing is wrong with that. Maybe it’s not the norm, but it’s normal for you. It’s different from the way many people live, yeah, but different doesn’t mean wrong.”

Jonghyun shifted slightly on top of the taller boy beneath him, keeping his head pressed into his chest and wrapping his legs around him. He brought himself as close as he could to Minho’s body, trying to draw as much warmth and strength from the boy as possible. Small moments with Minho, Jonghyun thought, meant the world to him. Everything about Minho from his dazzling smile to his passionate personality and his loving, caring tendencies made Jonghyun fall in love more and more everyday. Truly, to just lie in that spot, wrapped around the man of his dreams, would be enough for Jonghyun for the rest of time.

“I missed you,” he finally spoke, having seen the other yesterday for only a short period of time.

“I can stay the night.”

“Please.”

“Only if you promise me you’ll take your medication and eat.”

“But the day is almost over, Ming,” Jonghyun whined, knowing he’d end up doing what Minho suggested anyways.

“The sun is only barely starting to set, Jjong. There’s still time to do a whole bunch of things.”

“Like?”

“How about I tell you over a glass of water and some milk pudding, hm?”

Before Jonghyun could get out an answer, Minho picked him up again and held him on his front like a koala, carrying him to the dining room once more where the half eaten milk pudding lie.

“Say ‘aaahh,’” Minho chimed for the second time that evening. Jonghyun opened his mouth in the most adorable way, Minho thought, licking his lips as he messily got some of the snack on himself. Minho looked at him with complete adoration, spoon feeding his boyfriend who offered him a slight smile and an air kiss.

“I love you a lot you know,” Minho said as he fed Jonghyun another spoonful.

“I love… this milk pudding,” Jonghyun answered cheekily, energy returning to him in Minho’s presence. “And you too, of course.”

For Minho, that small smile and playful banter was all he needed; to be the comfort at the end of Jonghyun’s tiring day.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading ^^; as a side note - you're baby blue will be updated by the end of this week (20.7.18) so please keep an eye out!


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